Oh boy…not the best week for practicing a lot so I guess I am stuck being content with smart. Of course I know that is better. While TI has moved past lots of full length 25’s and 50’s of drills integrated with breathing into shorter distances and then integrating with strokes…while I know that in my cello teaching I work on short, concise passage work to do small bits well…I still have this desire to go harder, faster. What IS that? I know–my competitive side and also my desire to do things well. And I grew up with the equation of working hard equals success. And it does–until you run into the self-defeat aspect of "working hard." The TI old, and really any smart coach’s instruction, to "Work smart…go ahead and work a lot, but be smart about it…." is just almost a little too much grace for anyone who just wants to go out and beat someone. Ahhh…so what IS the motivation? I confess…I do like winning. But that is often fairly hollow shortly thereafter. I mean really, so what? Am I Dara Torres? No. Am I a Natalie? No. Am I worthwhile because I beat out another 54 year old? Truly. It sounds ridiculous.

Fortunately it seems that anyone who actually sticks to TI as a way to approach swimming (and life, for those of us who find the corollary works) the "beating others/winning" thing really isn’t such a big deal. I think the personal best title sounds silly at first, but it really is about challenging yourself, finding your own greatness–finding your own happiness, too. Living as a mind and a spirit in this body. This body needs tending and does better being used. And for me, my mind works better if I’m taking care of my body.

 So–I only did 1,250 yesterday. To the summer Masters coach I’ve worked out with that would be pathetic. It’s barely a warmup. But I went straight into Tempo Trainer work, extending my range. I’ve been doing 1.6 and going down to .8 or, more recently, .75—just to see what happens. I fall apart, basically. I used to fall apart at .8 but at least now I still have an organized stroke at that rate. My kick starts to go kaflooey and it’s just totally new to my nervous system. Slow is pretty comfortable. But compared to last spring when I first started with a Tempo Trainer, I now like 1.1. There seems to be a little better sense of when to "pierce/pull" vs. when I’m slower. And then I have to remember to include my hips. How did they disappear from my screen? Weight shift. Kick my elbow high. Catch. Hold. But—don’t force. I feel slightly out of breath. That makes me work harder. Wait. Stop. Reboot. See if slower, feeling, getting that glide…lets you keep your pace, lets you keep your stroke count. Fascinating. It is utterly fascinating. Am I in a rush to get back home? Do I have to get to work? Wait. Stop. Just do what you can. Stay in YOUR spot, not in the guy’s spot in the lane over. Look at that ridiculous stroke, man, why don’t you ask me for some advice? STOP !! ACK!

Okay, there is some of the stuff that runs around in my head. So today was more dealing with sick kitties and prepping for leaving town for a week. At least the cat bite infection is going away. And our sick kitty is on merrem shots and looking good, at least at the moment. The neighbor is banging on his bathroom wall with a hammer, the New Hampshire primaries are en route…and I am ready to head south to Maho, no matter what. In fact I can’t wait. I love coaching. I love swimming and what I am learning. And I love the people. OK. Tomorrow AM I coach and then swim.  And cello….and…….